Breastmilk: It Ain't Just For Babies

DISCLAIMER: This is not a post about breastmilk vs formula.  That debate is quite nuanced, and has been discussed at length elsewhere.  Bottom line: be informed; know what support is available; make your own choice; don't let anyone guilt-trip you.

The photo above is of me nursing Cadence when she was two and a half.  That was over 3 years ago.  I know that may raise some eyebrows here in the United States and many other Westernized countries, but since it's World Breastfeeding Week, and it doesn't seem like there are very many (if any) positive images of breastfeeding toddlers and older children (a.k.a. extended breastfeeding) in our culture, I'm putting it out there, and I'm going to talk about it. 

Off the top of my head, I can only think of a couple references to extended breastfeeding in the media. One is in the movie About Schmidt with Jack Nicolson and Kathy Bates, in which the latter refers to having breastfed her son until he was five.  The other is an episode from Desperate Housewives (which my boss told me about) in which one of the characters weans her co-worker's five year old by offering him chocolate milk.  Neither reference is what I would call POSITIVE.  Both were probably going for the "ewwww" reaction or at least snickers and jeers aimed at any mother who would be so overbearing as to breastfeed a FIVE YEAR OLD.

I'm sorry to say that the recently released movie Cyrus may contribute to the unfounded notion that breastfeeding an older child may lead to the development of a creepily unhealthy relationship between mother and child.  It was very subtle innuendo, that scene in which John  C. Reilly's character happens to pick up a framed photo of his love interest (Marisa Tomei) breastfeeding her (now-adult) son Cyrus when he looked to be obviously much older than a baby, perhaps as old as (*GASP*!) FOUR YEARS OLD.  Subtle, maybe, but the filmmaker's intent in including that photo was very clear.  It was to make you go, "Ewwww! No WONDER they're so codependent!"

Well, you know what? It just so happens that I nursed Cadence until she was over 4 1/2 years old.  That's right.  And I am so glad I did.  You know what else?  I have plenty of friends--all of whom anyone should be delighted to have over for a party due to their intelligence, creativity and over-all kick-assedness--who also nursed their babies into toddlerhood and beyond.  It's a lot more common than you think.  The body of research points to a much later natural weaning age--between 2 1/2 and 7 years--than most people think is or should be the norm.

Why am I bringing this up?  Partly because if we don't talk about it and simply allow the media continue to perpetuate the image of extended breastfeeding as something to be ashamed of, something only clingy mothers with boundary issues would do, then that's what most of us are going to continue believing.  If people realize that some of their friends whom they respect and are sure are not freaks are practicing extended breastfeeding, it'll give them pause before they snicker at the next negative media depiction of extended breastfeeding.  Another reason I want to talk about this is because when Cadence gets older, I don't want her to feel like a freak because she breastfed longer than most of her friends.  She still remembers nursing and even what breastmilk tastes like (chocolate ice cream, she says).  These are fond, nostalgic memories for her right now.  I would hate for that to change when she's older because the dominant attitude towards EB continues to be that it's gross or freaky.  I also hope that by bringing this subject out into the open, it would encourage women who are considering extended breastfeeding to feel like they are supported and not alone.

Extended breastfeeding is not for everyone.  In addition to the social stigma, we have government policies in place that make it extremely difficult for most working mothers.  However, for those for whom EB is a viable and desirable choice, my hope is that we as fellow parents and friends and family would support them in their decision so that they feel like it's the most natural thing in the world to do.  Which it is.