Looking Back/Moving Forward

It has been a while since I've posted. I could say that I've been too busy, and while it's true that my calendar is full, it is not the reason I haven't been posting. I could say I don't have anything to write or it's been too cold of a winter to shoot anything worth posting. That also would not be true; I have many thoughts swirling around in my head, and while the too-cold-of-a-winter part is absolutely true, it's still not an excuse.

I guess the most honest explanation (as if I needed one in the first place) is that I find myself in a significant transitional period of my life. There are many changes going on, internally and externally. There is a part of me that wishes I had been writing and sharing about these experience as they happened these past months, but it has been very difficult for me to articulate in words what is going on.

The photo above is one that I found last week in a group of unposted photos from the struggle at Whittier Elementary School, where a group of moms occupied the fieldhouse (a.k.a. La Casita) that was scheduled to be demolished. The occupation lasted 43 days, and the moms won a promise from CPS that the fieldhouse would not be demolished and that they would get their school library. I have always loved taking photos after a big rain. I love how huge puddles become mirrors, and in this photo particularly, I love how the banners created during the occupation are reflected in the puddles, a reflection of the struggle, if you will. To me, this image symbolizes the stage I am in right now, the process of reflection that I feel is so vital to growing and moving forward. The reflection I need to do is on my participation in the struggles of movement building, such as the struggle at La Casita, but also the personal struggles I have been experiencing as I strive to see myself as I am and to see those around me with an abundance of love and to allow myself to be seen by others as well.

(That's a lot of "seeing" in one sentence. Maybe it's the photographer in me...)

Writing this is not easy. I've come back to it, however, after chatting this weekend about how I've been neglecting my blogging, but how useful I found it in the past to push myself to practice writing on a more consistent basis.  I still feel like I'm struggling for words, but like I said, I've got a lot of thoughts swirling around in my head like so many colors of paint, so we'll just have to see if I'm down with getting my hands dirty to create something out of that beautiful swirly chaos...We'll see where this goes...